twilight

so i finally finished "breaking dawn", the final book in the twilight series. i honestly held out forever. most (not quite all) of my friends were reading it, so i decided to give it a try. embarrassingly. when i had jury duty in the federal building in detroit, i wasn't allowed to bring my cell phone in. no laptop, no peek no anything. figuring that i would need way too many magazines, i decided to borrow twilight from my neighbor, who promised me that it was worth reading.

it was a quick mindless read. done in just a couple of days. but i could put it down. and walk away. and probably never pick it up again. but i did read the second book "new moon", to see if i would enjoy it more. i read the third book "breaking dawn". i saw the movie. i still had the same feelings: bella whined too much. it's irritating that the cullens have 50 cars from 50 different brands. that's not practical, it's just dumb. jacob is ridiculous. if someone (anyone!) were hitting on your girlfriend like that, no guy would really just stand by. they curl their lips too much. i get it- they're vampires, but seriously. they are so pissed off all the time, that they curl their lips back every other paragraph? finally, the author uses the word "incredulous" way too much. i mean way, way, too much. i think she learned a big word recently. like in eighth grade when i overused "condescend." it was annoying when i did it, and it was so much more annoying to see a published author do it. throughout four books! incrediously, this is what put me over the edge- the characters were teenagers, so they would say dumb teenage things such as, "ooh, he's so cute. i love his amber eyes. oooh!" which makes perfect sense for a teenager to say. but then, "edward looked at me incrediously" really? hmm. i don't think that works out. i'm just saying.

so after several months, i decided to read the last book. it was decent, like the others, a quick read. jacob was still annoying, bella still whined excesively. edward was still incrediulous. the cullens car collection quadrupled. but the book still was poorly written and made my head ache. the final straw- renesmee. how could the story get any more ridiculous? with a ridiculous name such as renesmee. i'm just saying.

i'll watch the new movie, eventually, on dvd. but i'm certainly not dying to. there are more mature, well-written books on the same theme, such as anne rice's vampire chronicles, which are more about the lifestyle and personal interchanges rather that on the vulgarity of drinking blood. (i've honestly only read the first 6- apparently there are a few more. there are also two great movies "interview with a vampire" and "queen of the damned", though they are not like the books).

my review? 6/10. it was decent, but i won't reread any of them. and if you are in jury duty without a phone, it's an incredulous way to enjoyably occupy your time.

what this song needs is more bacon (or footpads 2: the experiment continues)

feeling sluggish and stressed, adam and i decided to do yet another experiment with footpads. not feeling like driving to detroit, i opted for the official- as seen on tv- celebrity endorsed kinoki footpads. they were more expensive than the crazy non-english ones from yore, but i was able to get them for 20% with a coupon at b3, so it wasn't horrible. i paid $16 for 14 pads, whereas the kyoto ones were $10 for 24 pads (they were 50% off or something).

regardless, i was stoked to have a package in a language that i could acutally read! they even came with full printed instructions inside. i felt optimistic. kinoki footpads have a light lavender scent to minimalize the bacon odor. i was in love, or so i thought.

unfortunately, i did not awake refreshed in the morning. tonight will be our last patch and i have yet to feel awake any of the mornings. if there were a placebo effect, i was certainly pulling for my freak streak of energy to return. bummer.

the lavender scent was far preferred to the rank stank of bacon, however, i'm thinking that they are also less potent. perhaps ones feet requires larger quantities of bacon to have some kind of effect.

so, what now? my recommendation is that you skip the kinoki foot pads. there was no overall benefit other than a lovely fragrance on your sweaty bacon scented foot. in spring, we'll try to hunt down more of the kyoto pads and repete the experiment all over again. yum!

two products that have already improved my quality of life:

3m scotch brite angled broom with squeegee

this sleek silver broom has a disconnectable head for dustpan (not included) mini-sweeps and features a bright green plastic card-like squeegee in the middle for wet spills, or just pushing along those crumbs (which is our main issue here) after one quick sweep through the kitchen, the floor was crumb-free, and because of the added stability in the center (from the "squeegee"), i believe this might just hold up longer than my last broom. though i have yet to try it on wet spills, this broom has definitely out-performed my last broom, and i'm so proud of myself for choosing a product for performance over the pink giraffe patterned one that was simply cute. retails for $12 at target. note the current on-package $2 off coupon for a total cost of $10

neutrogena skin soothing undereye corrector

just a dab will do! this is -by far- the most effective beauty product i have used in a while. this undereye corrector (not concealer) will eliminate dark circles and diminish fine lines and puffiness. it only comes in two colors- soft light (01) and natural light (02). since i have darker skin tones, i was hesitant to try it, but grabbed the tube of natural light and merrily went on my way. application is a breeze- much like a tube of liquid lipstick, you twist away until the product appears on the built-in makeup brush at the top. less is more- and after a quick sweep, my dark circles were significantly improved and the products cooling sensation began. it's a little weird to have a cold feeling product on your eyes- a lot like the cucumber trick, or maybe an undereye slurpee brainfreeze. the cooling sensation lasted about thirty minutes and i was (and looked) surprisingly refreshed. hours later, i still do. retails for $7.50 at target.

they tried to make me go to rehab, but i said no (or: footpads product review)

(dude, so who *doesn't* love amy winehouse?)

no, but seriously. my feet spent twelve full days detoxing with kyoto's detox foot pads. basically, there is a small tea bag-like pouch of herbs (bamboo vinegar, tourmaline, chitin and detox herbs) that you put on a larger self-adhesive cloth pad that you then stick to the sole of your foot while you sleep. upon application, the pouch smells herbal and is white. within several minutes, the pouch warms due to some radioactive rocks which become activated by foot sweat and the detoxification process begins.

initially, i thought that there was no way that i could possibly sleep like this, let alone for twelve nights, but i actually found it quite soothing and drifted off to sleep. at 6:17 am, i found myself wide awake. being a sound sleeper, and beyond lazy, i never even get out of bed before 7:00, despite my alarm sounding at 6:30. i was awake. oddly awake, and fully energized. my body felt no different. my foot was sweaty and the pad was sweaty, dark brown and smelled strangely like bacon (actually, more like "beggin's strips" -dogs don't know it's not bacon!). adam's pad did not stay on, therefor his data for day one was incomplete.

day two, the bacon scent continued. we learned that you must empty the trash daily, or 800 square feet will smell like herbal bacon pdq. i awoke at 6:13. irritated that i was again, full of energy, and adam's feet were not swollen for the first time in several months.

day three turned into a mad-scientist type of experiment. adam attempted to move his pad to the precise location of pain above his "sausage" toe, and i switched feet. adam had successful results in relieving the inflammation, and i awoke, again, well before my alarm.

days four-twelve were very much the same result. and though the herbal bacon scent left me somewhat queasy, and i have no logical explanation as to why detox footpads may work, i would recommend that any skeptics try them out. we went into this experiment with zero expectations, therefor any placebo effect would be noted in our studies. one could certainly argue that my increased energy could be a placebo effect, but if anyone has ever seen me in my coma-like state in the morning, as compared to post-detox, i think you would absolutely agree that something has changed my internal clock. adam's foot pain and swelling were noticeably decreased.

possible challenges to our experiment: adam bought new shoes, which fit him well, and have eliminated most pain during the day, but not swelling during the night. we believe that he has a circulation problem. we have also adjusted our diet to limit most carbohydrates, and increase protein and fiber significantly. adam has lost nearly 15 pounds, and i have lost 3. i am currently working on stress-reduction and practicing yoga in lieu of my pilates. though the detox experiment was conducted during my break from yoga, it is possible that i am more chilled than i was last month.

and the bottom line: i believe that everyone should try them out at least once. perhaps they work, perhaps they don't, but they did make at least a temporary improvement in both of us. even on the weekends, i was still (and continue) to wake before 6:30 am. it's not something i'd like to do, but it is a much better feeling that being groggy for several hours every day. though i don't believe that they actually remove heavy metals (my pads were always darker than adam's and neither of ours really lightened up even after day 12) i do believe they have some type of herbal benefit. we paid $10 for a pack of 24 pads from a natural foods store at eastern market. i would not recommend that anyone pay much more than that, because apparently they all come from the same three chinese manufacturers anyway. certainly, the ones on television are identical, but very overpriced. i know a few of you were interested, and had purchased your own, so i'd like to hear your experiences as well. i'll update on my morning energy as my post-detox continues. i'd really like to sleep in again one day. preferably soon.

so go buy them and check them out. unless of course you're taking a fenegreek supplement, in which case, daedra brought up a very good point: if you're already smelling like maple syrup, adding bacon to the mix is only a good thing if you're at a family restaurant.

product review: seventh generation diapers

recently i had the opportunity to try out seventh generation diapers and wanted to share my findings with the mom & pop group here:

the diapers seem to get some pretty poor reviews on the 'net, so i was a bit hesitant to try them at all, since i am terrified of a diaper misfire and lord knows that i am not a fan of laundry. diapers, in my opinion, have one purpose- to keep the contents off of the clothing. from the reviews, the redesign seemed unable to accomplish that one task. but, i also use a lot of other seventh generation products, so i had a little bit of brand-faith and a serious urge to experiment.

my biggest concern is the cost per diaper. seventh generation is $10.99 for a 30 pack of size 4 diapers. pampers cruisers are also 10.99 for a 30 pack of size 4 diapers. the breakdown is 37 cents per diaper. however, pampers is $1.00 off every other week at some store or another, and i almost always have a coupon for $1-2.00 off per pack, which brings the cost down to (average) $8.99 per pack or 29 cents per diaper. seventh generation allows you to print two $2.00 off coupons from their website. this is fine if you only require two packs of diaper every six months, otherwise, being a frugal shopper can get you some serious savings. of course the ultimate savings is to buy pampers by the case, bring the cost closer to 20 per diaper.

second, pampers are available everywhere at every hour of the night. i could probably ring up shanghai and ask if they had pampers and they probably do. i'm not interested in the logistics of this, i'm just saying. the closest store where i can purchase my 30 pack of seventh generation diapers is babies r us, which is nearly 20 miles from my house. they do not carry the larger packs, so i am unable to lower the cost on the seventh generation diapers.

so who cares about the price in shanghai, how do they work? well, i thought they were quite awesome, actually. i can't say that they were any better than pampers, but they were as absorbent. before you go out and make a purchase though, consider these factors: 1) i have a boy. i'm fairly certain that kylinn would not have had such a pleasurable experience with them, due to the fit. and 2) we only used them for daytime. i exclusively use huggies overnites for bedtime as they are incredibly effective and i refuse to change bed linens in the wee hours. i prefer my beauty sleep, and if you've ever noticed how beautiful i am, it's because i sleep a lot at night. i have huggies overnites to thank for that. (side note: huggies overnites are 43 cents per diaper, but worth every single penny)

so did they ever leak? yes, but only today and on my 28th diaper. we left the house at 9:45, tegan went to a traumatizing 18 month checkup, then i drove home, put him down for a two-hour nap (he passed out in the car) only to wake up with a minor wet spot on his pant leg. it had been just over five hours, though, with lots of liquids. we don't ordinarily go that long, but it does happen on occasion. i was impressed.

what is my favorite part? aside from the limited use of potentially toxic chemicals, i love the light tan color. it's so weird to look at. think of unbleached flour- same color. ironically, it's also tegan's least favorite part. hands down. since his is currently elmo-obsessed, and his pampers feature a different elmo on every diaper, he pulls the little brown diapers off, throws them down, hits his stomach and yells "ELMO!!! EL-MO!!! ELM-O!!!" every single time.

will i buy them again? certainly, as long as i have a coupon and am already at a store that carries them, otherwise, my pampers are equally effective and can be a heck of a lot cheaper, and less money spent on diapers means more money to do fun family things together. and that's what is most important to me.

setting the records straight: the great gelatin debate

yesterday, my sister-in-law was telling me about the vegetarian fare she had available at her party. she pointed out the rice casserole, spinach salad and to the pretzel jell-o. "actually, jell-o is a by-product." i replied. "what??? what do you mean?" she exclaimed. "oh, we'll talk later." i said, not wanting to scare her at her own party.

so for you lindsay, and anyone else who cares... here is why jell-o is not vegetarian and why I do not eat marshmallows (except for these), most gum and fruit snacks, etc. sorry if this ruins everything:

Gelatin

The status of gelatin is a controversial topic. True gelatin consists of denatured proteins, and comes from the processed hides or bones of animals, usually pigs or cows. This also affects the status of some brands of marshmallows.^[4] Most kosher products today use fish-based gelatin.

Another issue with gelatin is whether it is parve ('not dairy, nor meat'). A kosher parve 'gelatin' made from vegetable gums such as carrageenan combined with food starch from tapioca (which is also suitable for vegans) is commercially available in supermarkets which have substantial Kosher food sections. It does behave differently than protein-based gelatin, however, and cannot always be substituted directly for animal gelatin without modification of the recipe (mixing it with hot water instead of cold water). Other gelatin-like materials available include combinations of carrageenan and other vegetable gums, such as guar gum, locust-bean gum, xanthan gum, gum acacia, and agar, chemically modified food starch, and chemically modified pectins. Recently, such products have been used in prepackaged gelled fruit products, replacing animal-based gelatin.

Although most gelatin is considered non-kosher, several prominent rabbinic authorities have noted that gelatin undergoes such extensive processing and chemical changes that it no longer has the status of meat, and as such may be considered parve and kosher. This is the position adopted by some Orthodox rabbis, including Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, the former Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Israel.

YUM!

yes, i would say that is good advice...

i'm not sure what this product actually is, but i think it would be in everyone's best interest to take a product that would prevent them from exploding. scary to think that i've made it through 28 years without it!

product review: the mcnasty

the other day i decided to do something that i have not done in a long, long time. i ventured to the mcdonalds drive-thru. sir hubs-a-lot had given me a card for a free mccafe specialty coffee drink, and being that i had been in the car for far too long on friday, i decided that i was willing to give this a try.

so i pull into the drive-thru... "welcome to mc donalds" the pleasant voice booms through the speaker, "would you like to try to see how quickly you can clog your arteries?" (okay, that may not be verbatim, but it was pretty close. i can't remember exactly what was said, but it did include supersizing a mcsomething).

"no thank you," i reply. "i have a card for a medium specialty coffee."
"okay, what would you like?"
"an iced vanilla latte, please"
"thank you. will that complete your order?"
"yes. thank you."
"please pull ahead."

by the time that i got to the pick-up window, i had envisioned something great. i licked my lips in anticipation.

"here you go!" a young 15ish boy exclaims as he hands me my plastic slurpee-domed cup.
i look at it (somewhat confused) thank him, and drive off.

this "iced vanilla latte" has nothing in it. no whipped cream. no sprinkles. nothing requiring the domed lid, but hey, i still give it the benefit of the doubt. i take a sip.

"cough!!!" i almost choke. i hold up the clear cup to see if there are coffee grounds on the bottom, (there are not). so i take another sip, and again look for certain grounds. (which are still not showing themselves) it must just simply taste revolting. i set the drink in my cup holder and ponder this for a minute.

what i came up with, was that since there was no apparent vanilla, no whipped cream, no latte, no coffee grounds, etc. and the fact that it was 3:00 pm on a friday, was that they must have used old coffee. really, really old, nasty burned coffee. they have made me a mcnasty and poured it in a cup over cubed ice. nasty.

i then realize that this is mcdonald's, and they probably always taste nasty. i appreciate the fact that it was free, and did not cost me $2.39 plus tax and realize how worth it it is to pay just a few more pennies and get my usual tall chai latte or my white hot chocolate when i'm feeling deliciously frugal.

considering the fact that i had a stomachache from hell with (no kidding) kidney pain, i cannot stress enough how disgusting this beverage was. please avoid the mc cafe entirely. if you really must try it, please do not pay for it. i can hook you up with a free one, but don't blame me if it kills you.