yesterday i found myself standing in the foyer of a funeral home for what seemed to be the umpteenth time this year. and perhaps because it was in romeo, or perhaps just through some odd coincidence, we had to pay our respects to the families at the two separate viewings being held there.
in one room, was a woman whom i have known for nearly twenty years. she was the sister of adam's boss, the step-mom to a girl whom i used to dance with, the mother of a boy whom i spent years of catchetism with, and later drivers training, and my bus driver all throughout middle school and junior high. she was an incredible woman who somehow knew everyone. and somehow, everyone knew her.
in the other room, was a baby. and by some cruel twist of fate, this baby was the niece of the dancer from the other room. and though i barely knew the baby's mother, i felt so much sadness and sorrow for her. she hugged me and all i could say was that i was so so sorry. i can honestly say that that viewing was the single-most awful thing that i have ever attended. talking to the dancer's husband, (a good friend of adam's) i was overcome with so much emotion. it was all too real, and the thoughts of what my own sister had gone through were too fresh in my head. my own poor sister had experienced so much pain, and anger, and sadness less than a year ago. at the time, i had asked god what could possibly be worse? what could possibly be worse! i now know that this is worse. here is a little girl with a name that she responded to, a developing personality, a few short months to meet her family and her big sister. this little girl was here just long enough to have filled the room at the funeral home with pictures. and i couldn't stop myself from imagining that she had left a room at back at home with full dresser drawers and an empty crib. as a mother i can't even imagine how painful this is. i only know how awful it was with my sister, and how long it hurt me just as the aunt, and how often i still think of it. i am so sorry for her poor mother and her little love lost. her little life lost. uncontrollably and inconceivably.
we never know how short or long our lives will be. we are not in control. love your little ones a little more today than yesterday. and even more tomorrow.
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5 comments:
I did not realize that they were both only yesterday. I don't think that I could have handeled it.
So, very sad.
That was the single greatest post you've ever written - the feeling and the emotion really came across.
I cannot imagine how I would feel if I was in the same place.
i agree with jeremy. very well stated.
tough. I was an altar server at a funeral for a 2 year old when I was in 8th grade. I couldn't handle it then, and now that I;m a mom it would be so much worse. Jeffrey (I will never forget his name) had a 3 foot long casket. crazy. I am so lucky to have such healthy kids. Damn, Meagan- talk about a dose of perspective. I think I will bookmark this and come back to it when my kids are driving me crazy...
thank you for the compliments on the writing. it was an eye-opener for sure.
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