sorry, suri

dear baby suri,
i am sorry that you are real. i truly feel bad that you have an insane father and a pretty, (yet mindless) mother. i really thought you were a fun prank. i really had hoped that you were just a fake stomach insert and not a growing baby. poor you. if you want to come and live with a nice, normal, protestant family you are welcome here. we do not eat placenta, we will talk to you *this* week, we do not jump on furniture and we certainly do not make-out in public. i promise.

as fox news put it:

Let's hope Suri's life is full of laughter, and that she's raised in a normal environment with lots of opportunities to become the person she wants to be. It's a long shot, but today, after all, is actually the first day of the rest of her life.

best wishes, suri. welcome to this crazy world. now please investigate emancipation.

in other news, brooke shields also had her baby girl yesterday. afterall, we all know how much brooke & tom have in common. yikes.